1 Grant a wish. Take an hour or two each week to
do exactly what your child desires without interruptions or distractions --
even if she wants to play a game you hate or build block towers and then knock
them all down.
2 Start and end each day with "I love you." We
often think we show our love for our children through our actions, but kids
want and need to be told that they're loved.
3 Think ahead about
safety. Anticipate what your child's next step is likely to be, then
babyproof accordingly. If your 9-month-old is about to stand, now's the time to
put up the gate, cover the sharp corners of tables, and keep pot handles turned
away from the edge of the stove.
4 Praise your partner. Never
finish a day without acknowledging -- at least once -- your spouse's role in
the life of your children.
5 Choose child care carefully. Spend
as much time researching your options as you did the last time you bought a new
car. Call others who use the facility, talk with the director and the staff,
and spend lots of time observing the children there at play.
6 Leave
the scene. If your child is having a meltdown, pick her up from behind to
carry her away. Too much face-to-face interaction will escalate the situation.
7 Don't rush to punish. Every child has a cup that needs to be
filled -- and refilled -- with love, attention, affection, and respect. A rough
day, a big frustration, or a harsh word empties the cup. If your child is
acting up, give him a hug, listen to him, and spend time together. He'll be
more cooperative, and you'll both feel closer.
8 Never take a bath
break. When you bathe your baby, don't answer the phone unless there's a
portable one right next to you. An infant can drown in seconds if left
unattended.
9 Look the other way. Once a week, ignore one of
your child's small transgressions -- bad table manners, forgetting to clean up
right away -- and remind yourself that you're not perfect either.
10
Sleep when your baby sleeps. If you keep to your old sleep schedule, you'll
be sleep -- deprived, which makes you more likely to be cranky and can
contribute to postpartum depression.
11 Don't panic about picky
eaters. They won't starve, so just continue to offer a variety of foods and
small, frequent meals. Let your kids see how much you like vegetables.
12 Act now, talk later. Respond to your child's misbehavior in
the heat of the moment, but talk about the incident later in a "planned
discussion," in which you lay down the rules and your expectations.
13 Be your baby's favorite toy. Instead of always offering a
plaything, amuse him yourself. After all, you move, you make sounds, you can
take turns with him and respond to what he does, and you are warm, soft, and
safe.
14 Double-check your carseat. Improperly installed
child-safety seats are a major cause of injury. Whenever you put your child in
his carseat, make sure it still fits correctly.
15 Be romantic.
Go out on dates, kiss in front of your kids, & say, "I love you" to
your partner (with your kids in earshot).
16 Keep syrup of ipecac in
your glove compartment. You probably have it at home, but you may also need
it on the road (if your doctor advises you to use it).
17 Make photo
albums. Take two hours a month to create lasting, organized family
memories. As you gather photos or souvenirs, you'll have time to reflect on the
preciousness of your life.
18 Soothe your baby's dry skin. Keep
a jar of thick emollient at the changing table, and massage her legs and thighs
at each change.
19 Coin a nickname. Call your child by a special
moniker that reflects your unique connection to him. A child with many names is
a child loved many times.
20 Read all food labels. Always know
what your child is eating, especially if she has food allergies. For instance,
whey and casein, common ingredients in packaged goods, are really just milk.
21 Present a united front. When you and your spouse disagree
about how to handle misbehavior, keep talking and reading about it until you
reach a consensus or a compromise.
22 Make family rituals sacred.
Once a week, do an activity together, such as reading a book out loud,
taking a walk, driving to the woods, or having Sunday breakfast at the same
diner or coffee shop. These are the types of memories your kids will treasure
most.
23 Nip aggression in the bud. Don't ever let your toddler
hit or kick you, even if you know she's angry or frustrated. Block the hits
immediately, and firmly say, "No, you do not hit me."
24 Teach your
child simple songs and nursery rhymes. Rhyming and playing with sounds is
fun and tunes your child in to the specific skills that are needed for reading.
25 Put your baby down when she's awake. Letting her self-soothe
is the key to her sleeping through the night. If you nurse or bottle-feed her
before bed and she falls asleep, change her diaper one last time to wake her
up.
26 Make amends. One of the most important things you can say
to your child is "I'm sorry, I messed up." Admitting you're wrong also gives
your child the right to make mistakes. |
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27 Never make your love conditional. You should
love your child just because he was born, not because he plays the piano or
aces math tests. Tell him often that you'd love him no matter what grades he
got and that your love for him grows bigger every day.
28 Monitor
yourself. You are your child's first and most powerful moral teacher, so
make sure you set an example that you want her to copy. Ask yourself nightly,
What did my child learn from my behavior today?
29 Trust your
instincts with child care. If you have reservations about a caregiver or
feel that your child isn't doing as well as he could, you're probably right.
Don't worry about hurt feelings or awkward conversations. Your child's needs
come first.
30 Don't be overprotective. You shouldn't try to
shield your child from all disappointments, failures, or stressful situations.
Kids need to learn to handle difficulty in order to cope with life's
challenges.
31 Avoid vicious cycles. If your child is
misbehaving in a particular way and you've told him 100 times before not to do
it, don't issue warning No. 101. Instead, make it easier for your child to
behave. If he always leaves his coat on the floor, for example, install low
hooks in the closet.
32 Let your toddler explore. Parents often
don't want their children to bang big pots or do other things that are annoying
or messy, but that's the way kids learn.
33 Wake a sleeping
baby. There are times when doing this is a good idea -- during a morning
nap so he'll be sleepy enough for an afternoon nap, or during an afternoon nap
so he'll be sleepy enough at bedtime.
34 Ban bad-mouthing. Kids
aren't born to hate -- they learn it. Refuse to allow discriminatory remarks of
any kind. Help your child discover the positive traits of people, & teach
her to focus on the similarities rather than the difficulties.
35
Bait and switch. When your child is misbehaving, distract him with
something that's incompatible with the misbehavior. For example, if your child
is grabbing food from someone else's plate, hand him a glass of milk.
36 Encourage friendship over popularity. You can't guarantee
that your child will be liked by everyone, and it's not your job to make her
popular. Support her friendships, but don't try to micromanage her social life.
37 Wear rose-colored glasses. Your upbeat attitude is critical
to your child's self-image. Change your language so everyone views him more
positively. Ex: instead of saying, "My child is overactive," say, "My child is
so energetic."
38 Listen before you give advice. The most
crucial moments in parenting are when your child is experiencing an emotion
such as sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, or embarrassment. First, help
your child label the emotion, & validate how she feels. Then, & only
then, suggest ways to solve the problem. That way, your child will be more
likely come to you withture.
39 Demonstrate differences to your
toddler. For example, your child might like one kind of food (say, sweets)
while you prefer another (salad). This is of endless interest to young
children, who are learning that people can have different perspectives and
tastes -- an important life lesson.
40 Don't be a slave to
developmental milestones. Children develop at different rates. Try not to
push your child -- he will let you know when he's ready to start crawling,
walking, or reading.
41 Limit rewards. Help your child develop
his own internal reward system so he congratulates himself for a job well done.
Change your pronouns: Instead of "I'm really proud of you," say, "You should
really be proud."
42 Don't help too much with homework. It's
your child's obligation, not yours. If you pitch in, she'll feel she's not
capable of doing it herself.
43 Make honesty a priority. Never
lie in front of your kids -- for example, don't tell a telemarketer that your
husband isn't home when he's really sitting on the couch.
44 Share
your loves. Whether it's a favorite hobby, a wonderful song or poem, a
great recipe, one of your favorite childhood memories, or a fun game, it will
be remembered and cherished.
45 Set your child's sleep routine.
By 3 months, your baby should begin sleeping where you want her to be sleeping
at 1 year. After that, it will be much more difficult for her to make a change.
If she's in a bassinet, move her to the crib; if you won't be cosleeping, move
her out of your bed now.
46 Take your child's side. If you don't
know what happened in a particular situation, don't play devil's advocate. For
example, if he says, "I hate the teacher! Today she made fun of me in front of
my friends," don't immediately say, "I'm sure you were giving her a good
reason."
47 Don't worship expert advice. Believe solely in your
children, not in Mozart CDs, baby academies, or flash cards. No one will ever
know what your children need or who they really are better than.
48
Be very silly. Dance, burp, fart, laugh until you cry, and spit watermelon
seeds at your kids.
49 Plan meals together. Let your kids help
choose dishes to make and take part in the preparation - they'll be more likely
to eat what's served.
50 Break the rules sometimes. Have ice
cream for dinner, or wear pajamas all day on a snowy weekend. |
