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RELATIONSHIP TIPS
- First and
foremost….your marriage must always come first. You brought this miracle
into being to join the family; NOT to run it or be the center of attention.
- COMMUNICATION is a MUST! Tell each other how you're feeling, what
you're feeling, what you expect from each other, what you would like to see
from each other, your fears, your feelings, etc. Having a baby can be both
exhilarating and exhausting. It can bring much joy; it can also challenge you
in ways you never expected and your marriage in ways you've never expected.
- Take 15 minutes a night after Baby is in bed to reconnect with each
other & talk about other things than just the baby. When Baby gets a little
older, make that 15 minutes on the couch or somewhere visible to the Baby and
tell them that it is Mommy and Daddy time with no interruptions. It will be
very good for Baby to see that together time...it will bring confidence and
assurance.
- Date at LEAST once a month. It will honestly help both of
you to get out and spend time alone together. Or if you have to, take Baby
along in the carseat. While he's a baby is the perfect time to haul him around
to restaurants and stores. He'll sleep while you both can enjoy a night
out.
- Sleep deprivation is guaranteed to happen, to both of you. Eric
was use to going to work on 4 hours of sleep for at least the first month. Take
naps when baby is napping. House work will always be there; being able to catch
up on sleep won't. Best thing is that it doesn't last long. Realize you have to
deal with it, but it will pass.
- Being a parent is the hardest job in
the world. ASK FOR HELP! Friends, family, neighbors, etc.
- Get
involved with ECFE or other Mommy/Baby groups in your area so that you have
support outside of the home. It lets you vent and ask questions with other
parents going through the same exact thing you're going through at the time.
- Mommy's #1 responsibility is to eat well, get sleep when she can, and
take care of the baby. Husband will have to take care of meals, laundry, &
housework for a while until she feels comfortable being a mom and getting a
schedule down with the baby.
- Then…….SPLIT THE CHORES! Mommy
can NOT take care of baby and do everything else as well. One person cooks, the
other one does dishes, one person does the grocery shopping, the other one puts
the groceries away, one person does the laundry, the other one puts folds &
puts clothes away, one person vacuums, the other one dusts & cleans
bathrooms, etc. It makes life a lot simpler and FAIR. That way no one feels
overwhelmed or like they're doing everything since responsibilities are SHARED.
- Sharing responsibilities goes the same with the baby. Mommy controls
the input & Daddy takes care of the output. (Mommy nurses, then Daddy burps
& changes diapers) Daddy's job does NOT end at 5 or 6pm just because he
comes home from work. That's a perfect time for mommy now to get a break.
Nurture the nurturer….that's what it's all about. Take a
bath/shower, take a nap, go shopping for an hour, or go for a drive just have
some "ME" time. It will help tremendously just to feel normal again and get a
second wind.
- Daddy, tell Mommy how beautiful she is, every day. Tell
her how much you love & appreciate her as a wife & mother of your
child. Hormones are full & raging and she will feel fat, overwhelmed,
scared, confused, insecure, etc. Within the first two to three weeks
postpartum, such symptoms are known as the "baby blues" or "postpartum blues."
The blues affect 60 to 80 percent of postpartum women, who often find
themselves exhausted, unable to sleep, or feeling trapped or anxious. Your
appetite can change (you might eat more or less), or you might feel irritable,
nervous, worried about being a mother, or afraid that being a mother will never
feel better than it does during this down period. All these feelings are normal
during the first couple of weeks after childbirth.
- Partners, friends,
relatives: The best thing you can do is reassure Mommy that many women feel
this way after giving birth. She's exhausted, she's unsure of herself, and, if
it's her first child, she's never done any of this before. No wonder she feels
overwhelmed! Just listen to her. Encourage her to cry if she needs to. Tell her
what a wonderful mother you think she's going to be. Help her set limits on her
activities. Keep visitors to a minimum. Take phone messages for her. Tell her
she does not have to send out thank-you cards now. Make dinner for her. Help
her set priorities - things that must be done versus things that can wait.
Insist that she rest as much as possible and volunteer to watch the baby while
she takes a nap. - Above all, let her know you are there for her, no matter
what. |
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